Friday, June 29, 2007

Animal Husbandry for Sociopaths

We've all heard about Mitt Romney's carefully planned strategy for taking his dog on a 12-hour highway drive in the punishing sun and heat of summertime.

Before beginning the drive, Mitt Romney put Seamus, the family's hulking Irish setter, in a dog carrier and attached it to the station wagon's roof rack. He'd built a windshield for the carrier, to make the ride more comfortable for the dog.[snip]

As the oldest son, Tagg Romney commandeered the way-back of the wagon, keeping his eyes fixed out the rear window, where he glimpsed the first sign of trouble. ''Dad!'' he yelled. ''Gross!'' A brown liquid was dripping down the back window, payback from an Irish setter who'd been riding on the roof in the wind for hours.

As the rest of the boys joined in the howls of disgust, Romney coolly pulled off the highway and into a service station. There, he borrowed a hose, washed down Seamus and the car, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for in business: emotion-free crisis management.

I think we should jam old Mitt naked into a carrier in the same conditions and take the same roadtrip. With a camera to broadcast his distress.

Deliberately abusing animals does not, I repeat NOT, make you a cool, unemotional decision-maker. It makes you a vicious jerk, and it's good evidence that you're a sociopath. Mitt Romney joins Dr. James Dobson in my gallery of dangerous religious-right power-seekers.

What did Dobson do that was so dreadful? Let's just say he over-reacted when his dog didn't go to bed on command:

I had seen this defiant mood before, and knew there was only one way to deal with it. The ONLY way to make Siggie obey is to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else works. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me "reason" with Mr. Freud.

What developed next is impossible to describe. That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling and swinging the belt. I am embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed. As a final desperate maneuver, Siggie backed into the corner for one last snarling stand. I eventually got him to bed, only because I outweighed him 200 to 12!

He takes that approach to child-rearing, too, except he thinks that kids need to be treated with even greater severity than small dogs.

One proof of intelligent design is that Dobson and Romney, similar as they are, are nevertheless not cooperating on this election. As Amy Sullivan explains, Christian Fundamentalists regard Romney's Mormon faith as a dangerous cult. Long may their intolerance last.

Friday, June 08, 2007

The Dying Gaul, Explained

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I Confess

I have fallen prey to the cat macro fad.

I've forgotten where I got this picture; caption and Photoshop all mine.

Since I got back from WisCon, I've been trying to catch up with work, sleep, life . . . all of which has left me wiped out enough that I spent several hours this weekend looking at cat macros.

Alan Bostick provided the caption. Lavendertook provided the cat and photo.



Lolpoker and Lolcasinos are for sale. Just in time for the WSOP!




More philolsophers.


Lolhistory. Including a LolSuffragist.

Lolgays. Not actually funny.


And Laughing Squid with a few I missed.

The immorally funny self-macroing cats. Includes Craigslist personals!

And here's Jimmy Hoffa, Lolteamster.