Saturday, December 24, 2005


The winds were scornful,
Passing by;
And gathering Angels
Wondered why

A burdened Mother
Did not mind
That only animals
Were kind.

For who in all the world
Could guess
That God would search out

Sr. M. Chrysostom, O.S.B.
Robert, Cyril. Mary Immaculate: God's Mother and Mine. New York: Marist Press, 1946.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Don't Blow Your Stack! Get a Home Harmony Ear Harmonica!

If family conversations make steam come out your ears, you don't have to suffer in silence. Tuck the Home Harmony Ear Harmonica into your ear canal for your own private soundtrack!

Perfect for those visits to the old folks at home, it plays a selection of merry tunes whenever steam comes out your ears. Programmable to play your favorites, or you can stick with these popular selections:

* The Animals, "We Got To Get Outta This Place"
* Bruce Springsteen, "Born to Run"
* The Coasters, "Yakety Yak"
* The Beatles, "She's Leaving Home"

Would you rather listen to Dad asking when you're finally going to get a real job, or Bob Dylan playing "Maggie's Farm"?

When Mom can't remember the name of the woman you've been married to for the past seventeen years, select from our library of 273 songs named after girls--or stick with the simple, classic dignity of Destiny's Child singing "Say My Name."

Not audible to others, this dual-function insert substitutes beautiful music for the nagging voices of your parents and the boasting, whining, and fighting of your siblings and their offspring. But unlike simple earplugs or rival music systems, the Home Harmony Ear Harmonica alerts you to the topic of conversation, so you can respond appropriately while enjoying a private concert.

For only $29.99 extra, you can get the patented early warning superheated steam alert. This add-on plays "The Ride of the Valkyries" in full orchestral sound when you're ten seconds away from throttling any family member. Believe me, it has saved me thousands in legal fees and the lives of at least three of my in-laws.

Face the holidays with a smile--thanks to the Home Harmony Ear Harmonica.

Coming soon--the Buzzword Bingo Business Meeting Edition!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Quotation of the Day

So long as I remain alive and well I shall continue to feel strongly about prose style, to love the surface of the earth, and to take pleasure in solid objects and scraps of useless information.—George Orwell, “Why I Write”

Thursday, December 01, 2005

California Weather Report

It's raining here. That makes it winter.